The Best News, The Good News, and The Meh

Best – Lulu’s pathology is negative.  No cancer detected. 

Good – healing nicely despite losing steri-strips too soon.  More glue and strips were added for reinforcements. 

Meh – no driving for at least 5 more weeks.  No lifting, stretching or straining.  Despite outward appearances, the insides are in turmoil and the healing has only just begun.  

I was banished to the waiting room so all this is 2nd hand info.  She was told what kind of cyst (she couldn’t be bothered to remember the name).  There is a potential of reoccurrence in less than 10% of the cases. 

All in all she is blessed.  When I think of the possible outcomes, this is for the best … as it should be.  She goes back on July 11th where we hope she gets a full release.  
As always more to come. 

Co-Dependent

I see her text in all CAPS.  I can’t make out what it says but it’s clear all CAPS means anger.  

Today is pathology day. 

We’re early of course.  That’s my curse.  I’m a horrible judge of time.  If I think about all the time I’ve wasted waiting, I’m disgusted.  

Disgusted might not be the most accurate word. But really?  What a waste!!

Oh well hell. 

Name called; look given; then she growls “I’m going back by myself.”  

I guess I should be grateful she is independent but still stings.  

I want to disappear.  To go away to a place where I can soothe my worried mind.  Hopefully soon … very soon. 

As always more to come 

Self introspection

Why oh why

Do the butterflies fly

Defying reason

Counting blessings

Why oh why

Do I feel this way

Despite all that is good

Oh so good 

Why oh why

Can’t I see

All that is right

In front of me

If I figure it out

And have no doubt

Will I cease to be

Above is an attempt at poetry. Not sure it qualifies.  Lots of work to do.  CBT went well yesterday. Now is time to practice.  

As always more to come.