Puppy Love

The bolded was written a year ago and while our current state has nothing to do with puppy love, the message of unconditional acceptance of circumstance is universal.  At any moment, life can kick you in the proverbial nuts.  I’ll never know what that truly feels like but according to Big B, it’s a blinding pain.  Doubled over … to your knees … torture.  Anyway, here goes nothing.  

A memory … 8th grade graduation … after the Mass, in the gym …  

I told my beloved that I’d miss him and I never wanted to leave the gym that night. He would be going to public school next year, me to SGH so we’d rarely if ever see each other again. My heart was breaking.

You see I loved him! As much as he loved me. Well at least as much as someone can at the age of 13. And the love was real despite what anyone said. Despite how he replied which was to say “I won’t miss anything about this place sadly even you. I can’t wait to get the hell out of here. I can’t wait for my life begin” 

Audible gasp, arrow straight through the heart. How would I survive?  We stayed in the gym, drinking punch. I was pulled up to the stage for pictures, laughing, smiling, pictures that he is not even in. 

But you see, there was nothing to ‘survive’. Life goes on … merrily blissfully on and what happens is what is supposed to be. Too damn bad that you can’t see that at the time. After a multitude of life’s lessons, I finally understand now … it could be worse, always always always. In hindsight, things work out for the BEST.  Always always always.  Everything is as it should be. Always, always, always.  

Any questions? 

May is Mental Health Awareness Month – Mental Health Post a Day in May – May 14th – Post-Partum Depression

How fitting that Sue posted this on Mother’s Day. Celebrities have written about their personal experience with postpartum depression. Brooke Shields for one. Hopefully this has reduced the stigma. Not trying to be a downer on this otherwise happy occasion. It’s just so important to be educated on the topic. With Pony I had baby blues. Likely just my perfectionist personality afraid I’d fail. My mom and others stayed with me daily. Definitely short lived. With Lulu, I didn’t have my mom. She passed away when Lulu was just 5 weeks old. Now that was hard. It wasn’t baby blues as much as the sadness of losing my mom. Important info contained within.

My Loud Whispers of Hope

Happy Mother’s Day!

In honor of Mother’s Day I needed to make my “Mental Health Post a Day in May” be about Mothers and that is why my post today is specifically related to mothers and is about post-partum depression.

I had post-partum depression with each of my three children, but the symptoms were most dramatic and most severe after the birth of my first child. After being diagnosed with post-partum depression after the birth of my first child, I was soon diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few months later.

Definition By Mayo Clinic Staff


The birth of a baby can trigger a jumble of powerful emotions, from excitement and joy to fear and anxiety. But it can also result in something you might not expect — depression.

Many new moms experience the “postpartum baby blues” after childbirth, which commonly include mood swings, crying spells, anxiety and difficulty…

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Random Writing 

I started this blog in earnest in July of 2016 right before Lulu went away to school. This random writing was something I posted to Facebook in May 2016 pre-blog in preparation for what was to come. I posted it where only I could see it; I didn’t post it to the world.  It came up in my memories today and I thought I would share.  I always wanted to be a writer, for as long as I can remember. However I don’t have a complete story in me just all these little bits and pieces.  Instead I settle for being a voracious reader and lover of all art in every form.

5/14/16 – Excerpt from my story. This is a work of fiction. Any reference to actual people is merely coincidental. 

You mess with the bull you’re gonna get the horns says the principal in The Breakfast Club. I wanted this to turnout like Some Kind of Wonderful … in a cheesy perfected movie script kind of way.  

But no, that’s not real life. Real life is messy and full of preachy, judging people. I do it too, unintentionally but damn it hurts so any time I become aware I am not living the golden rule, I’m going to snap myself back into reality and just quit that shit. Because it HURTS and I would never want someone else to feel this way … embarrassed … ashamed … feeling unworthy and not good enough and well, that just sucks.

So instead I will smile and wave boys,smile and wave just like the cute lil penguins of Madagasgar. Ha! and I feel somewhat better. At a minimum, I am amused … movie lines serving as a script for my life.

As always, more to come …

J-Dub’s Review of One Perfect Lie by Lisa Scottoline

No spoilers here just a two thumbs up recommendation if you enjoy the suspense genre.  About half way through the book, you realize the bad guy is really the good guy.  Such a skillful writing job to convince me otherwise.  I hated him until the reveal of true character.

There is action packed heroism at the end.  True life current events yet just a tad over the top in places and a predictable happy ending.  I could actually picture a Sylvester Stallone Rambo or maybe Bruce Willis (Yippee Ki Yay mother fucker) in a summer block buster movie.  Who knows, that might already be in the works?!??  If not big screen, at least this novel could be turned into an excellent made for TV movie.

I got this book at the express check out at my local Schaeffer Public Library.  I have been going old school lately.  I just realized today that they have as many videos (even some blu-ray) as they do books.  Media in all forms.  Squirrel!!! Anyway, that’s for next time.  For now, I returned this gem and got a new Jodi Picoult.  I am in heaven :).

As always, more to come.