This post falls under confessions. I feel I have failed and I want a do over. Since that is not possible, I am going to start from now and go fucking forward. Ya! I said it! This is why I saved all my F words :). To use now when I blog. I am pissed as sH!t and I am not going to take it anymore!!!
No wait! I am not really pissed. I am pumped up. Hans & Franz style pumped up!! Kevin Nealon and Dana Carvey girlie men “pump YOU up”. Go back and check out the link. Go ahead. I’ll wait :).
Done? Okay, moving right along. I will save my “not going to take it anymore” for something more worthy of that ire. This is not a rant. This is an “I’m damn tired of feeling low and blaming everyone else for my life choices” kind of post. This is a “you can’t go back and dwelling on the past is getting you nowhere” kind of post. This is a “quit being jealous of others for you know not what their lives are like behind the Facebook/Fauxbook mask” kind of post.
It all started when Laura M. posted the following to Facebook:
The South Salado Creek Greenway / Covington Park / Comanche Park to South Side Lions Park ( Pecan Valley Park) Never would have thought – “back in the day” the City would have made this possible! It’s Really Nice! 
The city has revitalized these parks and they are now open for business. There are trails, fishing, etc… It got me thinking that over the summer, I must take advantage of what is in my own backyard.
Now the confession part … as a mother one of my failures was letting my kids lead a sedentary life style. Not so much with Pony who played baseball and was a ball of energy, riding his bike all over the place. He was never really one to sit still. However, 9.5 years later when Lulu came along, I was tired. We almost signed her up for soccer once but Billy talked her out of it. She played a single year of softball. From ages 3-8 she attended dance classes.
A typical weekend was to sit and watch TV. Check! Eat fast food drive through garbage. Check! Become activity adverse. Check! And I was queen of excuses too. In all fairness, I was more than likely clinically depressed. And since May is mental health awareness month, I am airing my laundry. Notice I did NOT say dirty laundry. Simple laundry that needs some open air drying. Silence = stigma! And I am done with keeping my mouth shut. Judge me if you will mo-fos. But I am over it. I am proud to have persevered through the mind fuck of mental illness.
Let’s not talk about pre-existing conditions here other than to say I guess I have one. That topic is for another post. For now, let’s aim the spotlight on mental health to show NO ONE is immume. Everyone knows someone who has been affected. The statistics are staggering. Just check out myloudbipolarwhispers blog for daily stats posted throughout the month of May.
I realize this post has taken on a rant like quality despite my best intentions. Therefore, I will bring us around to a more positive end. I am pumped up. I have HOPE (Hope is a fickle bitch) but she is still a friend. After a really bad night, I needed to clear my mind and open my soul. Billy Bob took me on a walk to help me along. We went to the new Salado Creek Greenway starting at (our old stomping grounds) aka Southside Lions Park. I am even more tired than I was yesterday but I am a good tired. I am back to center. Namaste.
As always, more to come.
Remember THIS IS FOR YOU AND YOU ALONE
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 