Rent and Fleetwood Mac

As I sit here in WD Deli feeling uber sorry for myself, this song comes onSeasons of Love.  I’m about to jump up on the tables and belt out the words.  I would I tell ya but I’ll have to settle for just imaging that scene.  How do you measure a life? C,mon folks how?  Sing it!

And next up Landslide and my head is exploding.  Today I woke with Stevie’s sweet voice singing this song in my ear.  I have daily ear worms as I dream (when I dream) in song as another coping mechanism.  “I’m afraid of changing cuz I built my life around you” wonder what that means.  

Whatever it means, Music is the cure for what ails me!

As always more to come. 

Call Me

And not a Blondie sing-along song of the day Call Me.   Though that would be much better!  Ugh 😑 

Life 11, J-Dub  zero

Not that I’m keeping score or anything. 

I decided I was done with texting drama. So I tell my little one to call me. And this time she does. And we have a conversation. I hang up and think things are OK. An hour and a half or two hours pass and the texts start coming in. 

I feel ugly.  

Now just how in the hell am I supposed to respond to that.  So I tell her call me. And she responds by text I can’t I’m in the car people will hear me.

Well, you think I’d listen to my own advice. Nope, instead I start texting … you’re not ugly … what makes you feel that way … you’re my beautiful baby girl etc. etc. etc.

And her responses are no or eh 

Then she writes, how is this news go you I always thought this 

My point has been proven! What does that mean? How is this news? You know I’ve always thought this or does she mean How is this news?  I know you always thought this? 

So here come the apologies.   And more no or eh.  

Then I type call me when you can because I can’t deal with this on text it’s stressing me out.  

How’s that for progress?

CALL ME By Blondie.  Help is on the way via sweet tunes.  Earphones in, volume up!
As always more to come. 


This was my FB post from April 28, 2014. B had yet another follow up which didn’t yield the results he hoped for yet in the big scheme of things, he was blessed.  WE were all blessed. 

Dr. S is an excellent physician Dr. S has taken the best possible care of my Billy

Dr. S wears a wedding ring

Dr. S has pictures of his kiddos on the desk in his office

Dr. S is being deployed

When Billy goes back in three weeks, he will see Dr. O instead. So while the news of “No, you are not ready to get out of your cast yet – let’s give it three more weeks” and “No you cannot drive yet because quite simply, you cannot grip a steering wheel” were not what we hoped for … it is what it is. And B is strong, he will heal. He is healing as we speak and red is a good color for him. So he is keeping his red cast aka styling accessory. I forgot to ask if I could sign it or be-dazzle it up 😉

Godspeed to Dr. S. Words alone cannot express our gratefulness. THANK YOU and we wish you well!!!

Stop Damn Thoughts

I try my hand at poetry

As I sit here full of anxiety

Worry for something that may never come

My heart is still beating, yet I’ve come undone

Running scenarios through my brain

The thoughts are pouring down like rain

I try to gasp for air, to breathe

Just breathe

Just breathe

Just breathe

Well I guess I shouldn’t quit my day job.  I’ve not been sleeping well for a while now.  I think the stress (self induced unfortunately) and lack of sleep are quietly catching up to me. I’m up and down so many times throughout the day that I’m perpetually queasy.  I feel like I’m riding the tallest, fastest roller coaster after eating carnival food. Bleh!   Oh how I wish the proverbial shoe would drop.  Then I could get to work picking up the pieces.  

As always, more to come

Virtues & Vices – BayArt

Credit to author Lisa Simone.  Click to read this wonderful message in full.


Self compassion is tricky to master, when the compassionate concepts I am encouraged to apply, were considered heinous insults throughout my formative years. You’re such a try-hard Goodness me – are you letting people see you try hard to be your best self? Don’t let people know the lengths you are prepared to go to for…

Source: Virtues & Vices – BayArt

New Medium Of Manipulation 

Texting has created a new medium by which to further manipulate each other.  Does anyone remember back in the good old days? You know back when we actually talked on the phone?  If you got in an argument, you said “I’m done with this conversation goodbye.”  You hung up and then it was over. 

Not anymore my friend.   I have a string of text messages to prove it.  There’s no tone of voice. Screaming all CAPS and freaking emoticons.  I read and re-read trying to discern the true meaning of the text … absolutely ridiculous.   Ping-pong, back and forth, back and forth. Neverending, on and on and on. Everyone needs to have the last word.  


As always more to come.