Karma – She’s A Bitch

I’ve been a little pissed off lately.   I recognize it, I’m trying to get a grip and I hate feeling this way.  I’m stressed and not dealing well with things.  Project feelings much? uh you know I do!

Today I was starting fresh though. I decided that I would control my emotions and be happy.  So much for happy!  A work task went sideways this morning and then shit hit the fan this afternoon.  Everything kind of piled on at once.  

Here are the details. I am writing them out in order to get them the fuck out of my head. So I can calm down.

My brother (GP) lives in a group home in Austin.  I don’t talk about him … it’s not my story to tell.  Jimbo Pete I talk and reminisce about but GP not so much.  Lots of unresolved issues there. 

Anyway, I’m in this project meeting to address the sideways work task.  The meeting has gone over by a hour and we’re all tense.  Numbers DO NOT  MATCH!!! 

During the most tense moment, I get a call to arrange a taxi for GP to get home from a doctor’s appointment. Easy peasey usually but today ZTrip app won’t work.  Fuck!   

I think it’s cell service and I run outside.  Still no reception. I power the phone on and off. Nothing. Back inside and upstairs on my desktop and site still won’t work. I PANIC. 

He’s stranded.  He’s special needs and easily confused.  And I’ve no way to get in touch with him. 

Yellow cab tells me they won’t pick him up if he can’t pay.  They refuse to take my credit card over the phone.  They refer me to ZTrip and I’m screaming the app doesn’t work.  They transfer me to dispatch management.  They can’t help!

I called the group home manager. He can’t help either, his wife has their only car.  He suggests we send GP home COD meaning he pays when he is dropped off.  He suggests I call the doctor’s office to see if GP is still waiting inside.  Good ideas!

I get GP by phone.  He was outside waiting but the sweet receptionist went to get him.  I advise him of the delay. He starts to cry.  The receptionist (angel) talks him off the ledge.  

I call back yellow cab.  Yellow cab agrees to COD.  I call group home manager who confirms he’ll pay the cab when it gets there. 

Then nothing!   I can only assume GP got  home okay. No news is good news.  Right?  Say right! Because the thought of him wondering around lost in the cold drizzly Austin night rocks me to my core.  

And what’s all this have to do with karma?  Well, I feel like I’m being paid back for being angry.  But then my logical mind knows better.  Shit happens.   That’s all.  There is no why.  There doesn’t always have to be a reason.  

Now I will turn that frown upside down.  Plus it’s Lent!   We had blueberry pancakes for supper! Now that’s a treat.  How can I not be happy when I get blueberry pancakes for supper ?!?!?!!!!

As always more to come!   

7 thoughts on “Karma – She’s A Bitch

  1. It somehow feels wrong to say I find your writing so engaging…but, I do….it is a bitter sweet thing considering the sad content….I can only imagine your pain….thanks for sharing….

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    1. It’s not wrong. That’s what I’m going for. Real and authentic. Part of my life I rarely let out. This week GP has more appointments. He’s at a stage where a nursing home might be the best option. I feel selfish writing purely to expel the demons so if you or anyone finds the words engaging I’m thankful.

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