You forgot what happened?
Or is remembering only good stuff revisionist history?
The mind is very powerful when one stops to think about all our coping mechanisms. Me, I just forget. When I choose to remember, I often do so through rose colored glasses. Despite my sarcastic nature, I really am a glass half full kinda gal.
Today I’m on the way home having worked a 10 hour day. Billy Bob calls me in route and says “hey can you stop at Walmart and pick up some sevin dust”. He’s trying to get in the garden real quick and he realized there’s fire ants out there everywhere. So despite being dog tired and knowing Wally World will be packed, I say “sure I’ll go”
I park by the garden center. Quick entrance and exit. Thank goodness no line because it’s back in the back where no one dares to go. As I’m checking out, I hear Andy Grammer Keep Your Head Up.
Boom it hits me! A vivid image of Lulu and me … I’m driving her all the way out to Concordia on Loop 1604 hellway (and no I don’t mean highway. It’s hell. Trust me) We’re sitting at a red light on Huebner and I’m bawling like a two-year-old. And why? because Andy Grammer is singing this flipping song. Keep Your Head Up Damn you Andy you suave devil.
Pony had just lost his job. He wasn’t yet married. I was worried about my boy. How would he keep a roof over his head? Would he be alone forever? Was he crying and hurting and trying not to let us know? And his lyrics struck a chord:
“Bills on my mindset
I can’t deny they’re getting high
Higher than my income
Income’s breadcrumbs
I’ve been trying to survive”
Who knew that in no time his buddy M would help him get a “real” job at a fine financial institution. His career has taken off. He’s married to the fantastic Wise. Things are going well.
What amazes me is that I completely forgot about his rough patch. I only remember him as happy as he was before and as happy as he is now. This! This! Gives me hope for Lulu. This too shall pass has new meaning. And with God anything is possible. Yep, I went there. Let go and let God.
As always, more to come.
J-Dub's Grin and Bear It 
This was great. I have so many words but this is great just sums it up. 🙂
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Yay! Thank you.
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I’m serious, it moved me. After I posted that, realized I hadn’t answered the question: No, it’s not a lie, it’s a sign you want to be happy and focus on the good stuff. You want to be thankful, and shows you truly want what’s best, not wanting woes, if that makes any sense at all…lol
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It makes sense. I had just posted and/or commented to someone that I never worried about my oldest like I worry about Lulu. Thing is I did worry about him but I just forgot about it because he’s doing well now. I was wondering if my saying that I never wore about him was a lie? If so not intentional.
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From my perspective, it was that you worried about him at the time, when there was need for worry, but remembering you remember the good (the outcome), not the bad (the struggles he was going through, and your worries and longing for those struggles to end for him) and that you’re looking forward to the time when that will be the case with Lulu 🙂 I feel anyone reading this would know you are a good mom who loves her children, more than anything, and wants their lives to be happy, safe, fulfilling, you know all the good stuff 🙂
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You have absolutely made my day! You get me 😀. Thank you!!!
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