Against All Odds

They say a picture is worth 1000 words;  what does this picture say to you ?

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Struggle if you must, but never give up!

We planted this little guy over two years ago … was supposed to grow into a big tree … instead it still looks like a little twig. ¬† Against all odds though the twig is producing oranges ūüćä. ¬† This makes my day!!

As always, more to come.

Sometimes I Wish I Could …

Freeze Time. ¬† There are days like today where I sit back and reminisce about the good old days and I wish I could freeze time. ¬†Thankfully this morose feeling doesn’t last long. ¬†Stuck in the past is no way to live; one has¬†to move forward. ¬†Keep the memories, sure! But don’t close off to what’s in store for the future. ¬†The only thing constant in life is change and I have always embraced change … maybe after a little reluctance but I usually come around quickly. ¬†I am a jump on the band wagon, I’ll try almost anything once type. ¬†Thank you daddy! Most things good in me, I attribute to¬†his influence.

Anyhow, moving along, we have one more day until the milestone, ten year anniversary of a most unfortunate event. ¬†The suspense will end because I will unveil our story of that fateful day. ¬†In the meantime, I will organize my office, since doing so was a bust when I tried last Saturday.¬†I’ll leave you with a picture I found when I was supposed to be cleaning. ¬†This is one of my favorites because it was taken right before H was diagnosed. ¬†The carefree innocence of childhood¬†before cancer invaded their life. ¬†¬†These … four … kids … are the reason that this morning I kind of wanted to freeze time.

As always, more to come.

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In front of the azaleas. ¬†Yes Pony was a rockstar Jr. John Lennon¬†– kind of … if you squint and look from afar.¬†Keep on smiling.

More Colloquialisms

Does “I’d like to bitch slap <insert pronoun of choice> into next week” count?!? ¬†Lol!

Here’s a few colloquialisms running through my mind … running through my mind even counts:

  • I’ve got to get this out of my system.
  • I’m going to let my freak flag fly.
  • You better shape up or ship out.
  • I’m not going to cut you any slack.
  • You’re hanging on by the skin of your teeth and/or you’re skating on thin ice.
  • You’re about to go down in flames.
  • I’m gonna come out swinging and let the chips fall where they may.

Ha! and I am just a yappy chihuahua. ¬†Protecting my pup. ¬†And Big B squared is talking me off the ledge and laughing his a$$ off. ¬†I am swearing like a sailor and making up phrases of my own … like why settle for vanilla when you can have freaking chocolate with freaking rainbow sprinkles!!! You blanketity, blank, blank. Yippee-ki-yay motherfucker. ¬†Can’t you just picture Bruce Willis?!? ¬†Die Hard fans, I know YOU can. Lol!

Dang that feels freaking fantastic! ¬†and I reached my goal, to get this out of my system …¬†for NOW. ¬†Time for some vino.

As always, more to come.

 

Dia de los Muertos

Preparing with my skull bracelets.

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on Sunday, the actual day of … the anniversary from hell, we will attend a celebration in downtown SA. ¬†Can’t wait to see Mexrissey – Mexico Goes Morrissey. ¬†It’s free noon to 10pm at La Villita.

Check out http://www.muertofest.com

As always, more to come.

 

Two Days Left

Still on the count down. ¬†Nerves are jangling and to distract myself I’m obsessing over that which I cannot control. ¬†You can’t live someone else’s life. ¬†That’s for sure. ¬†Deep breath in and slowly exhale. ¬†Going to crank up the tunes and rock all my cares away. ¬†ūüé∂ūüé∂

As always, more to come.

I’m So Happy I Could Cry

I wonder where that expression came from?? ¬†I’ve always said I was going to make a list of colloquialisms and research the origins. ¬†What a fine and interesting book that would make!! But that is not the point of this story. ¬†I’m not¬†going down the rabbit hole; I ¬†will stay on task.

Today was a heavy day. ¬†Heavy as in 70s slang meaning serious or intense. ¬†First thing this morning, I read some life altering¬†news about a former co-workers’ son. ¬†Put things in my life right into perspective. ¬†Yep! straighten the hell up and fly right! (another colloquialism, one cannot escape them). ¬†As I cried over the accident, my tears were not necessarily sad. ¬†While there was¬†some sadness; my tears were also soulful, full of hope and in recognition of the humanity of mankind and the goodness of people even in loss. ¬†Especially in loss. ¬†I was humbled by this amazing family, how they are dealing with this accident is inspirational.

My mind wanders as my mind¬†often does and I remembered a time in my life where I was medicated and felt nothing. ¬†The Zoloft days or daze as the case may be. ¬†I vividly¬†remember sitting on the couch, watching¬†TV, maybe just the nightly news and I think to myself¬†“what the hell is wrong with me? that is awful; just tragic and I should be bawling but instead I feel nothing, empty” ¬†Of course after the roller coaster emotional life circumstances that got me on the medication to begin with, feeling nothing at all was a relief. ¬†However, feeling nothing¬†was no way to live and not sustainable. ¬†I stopped taking Zoloft and reclaimed my feelings.

Today I am ALIVE!  I feel a full range of emotions and I welcome those feelings:  The good, the bad and the ugly. Big scheme of things, I am blessed beyond measure.  I know from experience that happy would not be so happy without sadness and joy would not be so joyful without the pain.  Dare I say sadness and pain are valuable beyond compare.

Anyway, we have three more days until¬†our milestone anniversary. ¬†It’s about to¬†get real up in here. ¬†Doh! that makes 3 ;).

As always, more to come.

Back in the Stone Age

Okay, not that far back … just back to the 70s. ¬†If one wanted straight hair, there was no flat-iron but you could use the clothes iron and wax paper for a similar effect. ¬†If one wanted curly hair, you could get a permanent wave aka a perm. ¬†Or you could use rollers. ¬†Eventually the curling iron came around and hot rollers too. ¬†For crimped hair, there was no crimper but you could braid your hair when damp, sleep on it and when you took out the braids, wah la, beautiful waves. ¬†Now that’s what I call advancement.

Because I have been a reminiscing fool lately, I remembered how during sleep overs we’d braid each others hair. ¬†I decided, I want to do that again. ¬†I went to look for hair ties and of course Lulu has all of them with her at college. ¬†Boo! ¬†I guess I’ll have to invest in my own stuff. ¬†I had forgotten how much we shared.

I miss her still even though Big B squared and I are LOVING the empty nest. ¬†I never thought I’d get here but I am at acceptance and that didn’t take long at all. ¬†I have decided, that I like him, I REALLY REALLY like him. Lulu moving on is bittersweet for both of us that’s for sure but at least we have each other.

As always, more to come.

It is funny what one remembers

I remember going out in high school driving around aimlessly on Friday and Saturday nights down WW White Road up to Rigsby then out to Walzem and back on a loop. ¬† Looking for a congregation of teenagers up for some fun. ¬† It was the wild early 80s. ¬†A popular prank was to steal street signs. ¬† ¬†Now as an adult I know how absolutely idiotic that was … stealing a stop sign or a yield sign or do not enter … it’s just asking for a fatal accident.

Well my group, we never stole street signs but in the same vein we decided  that we would take letters off the Peter Dunn discount sign that was placed in front of the store advertising their sales.    Our goal was to get all the letters to spell our names.   We were going to use this loot for room decor.    Again as an adult I think how ridiculous.

4th of July sale snagged me a J and L.

 Free installation  got me the rest of my first name and a good start to my middle name.

It seemed harmless.  We were all doing it.  What could it hurt?

One evening as we drove by the store, making our regular rounds, we saw in big block letters … for all the world to see … JESUS LOVES ¬†WHOEVER IS STEALING FROM OUR SIGN!!!

Of course we panic “oh my gawd do you think they know who it is … that it is us?!?!? ¬†Now we need to go to confession!!!” As a group we decide to collect all the letters and around midnight we sneak back and returned everything!

Nothing works better than fear of humiliation. ¬† We all knew better … good little Catholic schoolgirls that we were … shame shame on us. ¬† But we learned a valuable lesson. ¬†Stealing, even signage is not cool.

As always, more to come.