How to you define family?

Merriam Webster has multiple definitions but in recent history, the following definition was added:

A group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation 

I chose this more liberal definition instead of the¬†strict definition requiring a bloodline. ¬†I know there are people who will disagree. ¬†Family is blood. ¬†Heritage is important and I get that … really I do … painfully so to the point of exclusion in some cases. ¬†Yet¬†we are bound by so many things …

I have two daughters – one I gave birth to¬†and one by marriage but they are both MY¬†girls. When¬†Pony’s mother in law started calling him son, he asked me if I minded. ¬†He said someone else calling him son felt¬†strange. ¬†I thought his asking me how I felt was super sweet. ¬†I told him of course I didn’t mind … not one single bit and that I was very happy for him. ¬† I even cried happy tears … my son was loved not just by me.

My own experience was quite difference. ¬†I expected to call Billy Bob’s parents mom & dad but was told upon learning of our engagement – well “Don’t start calling¬†me mom, you’ve already got one of those” ¬†Uh, ok … line drawn. I did not understand … growing up¬†I even had parents of friends who I called mom & dad. ¬†What’s in a name? ¬†Everything!

I have always loved quickly, easily and unconditionally.  I love automatically and by extension.  My heart is open; my heart is full.

This makes me very happy but I am also vulnerable; that feelings will not be reciprocated. That somehow it is just too much. ¬†That I feel too much. ¬†I do not like¬†that part … still I would not change a thing … as if I could … I can only try … because it is in my nature … it is who I am.

From Cam in Modern Family¬†‘I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy and I dare you to not like me.”

As always, more to come …

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