Depression and Anxiety struggles no one understands

Sharing. Sugar is akin to cocaine … very adept description. The entire post is enlightning. No Cher in Moostruck saying snap out of it. If only winning the war on anxiety and depression were that easy. .

Eddie Star Blog

Inexplicable mood swings

One of the problems that people with depression deal with is random mood swings. One morning, you may wake up and feel like are going to deal with a challenging day but can deal with it. Other days you will wake up and feel like the apocalypse is beckoning you to come outside. It will be a struggle to deal with the most trivial matters, and no one will understand why you seem ‚Äúout of it‚ÄĚ. It will be days when you are loquacious and clear minded, and other days when you will be completely anti-social and introverted.

Triggers and cues

You are sitting down watching the nightly news, and hear the death announcement of a childhood TV personality you idolized. You recognize that the celebrity is close in age to your parents and you start to immerse your thoughts into mortality and death. The death…

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How to you define family?

Merriam Webster has multiple definitions but in recent history, the following definition was added:

A group of people united by certain convictions or a common affiliation 

I chose this more liberal definition instead of the¬†strict definition requiring a bloodline. ¬†I know there are people who will disagree. ¬†Family is blood. ¬†Heritage is important and I get that … really I do … painfully so to the point of exclusion in some cases. ¬†Yet¬†we are bound by so many things …

I have two daughters – one I gave birth to¬†and one by marriage but they are both MY¬†girls. When¬†Pony’s mother in law started calling him son, he asked me if I minded. ¬†He said someone else calling him son felt¬†strange. ¬†I thought his asking me how I felt was super sweet. ¬†I told him of course I didn’t mind … not one single bit and that I was very happy for him. ¬† I even cried happy tears … my son was loved not just by me.

My own experience was quite difference. ¬†I expected to call Billy Bob’s parents mom & dad but was told upon learning of our engagement – well “Don’t start calling¬†me mom, you’ve already got one of those” ¬†Uh, ok … line drawn. I did not understand … growing up¬†I even had parents of friends who I called mom & dad. ¬†What’s in a name? ¬†Everything!

I have always loved quickly, easily and unconditionally.  I love automatically and by extension.  My heart is open; my heart is full.

This makes me very happy but I am also vulnerable; that feelings will not be reciprocated. That somehow it is just too much. ¬†That I feel too much. ¬†I do not like¬†that part … still I would not change a thing … as if I could … I can only try … because it is in my nature … it is who I am.

From Cam in Modern Family¬†‘I’m sort of like Costco. I’m big, I’m not fancy and I dare you to not like me.”

As always, more to come …