Ouch The Saga Continues, Read At Your Own Risk

Calgon take me away … the commercial from yesteryear is something I frequently use as a mental method to curb my anxiety.¬† Deep breaths and visual imagery work wonders too.¬†Up until this point, I have come to realize that whatever I am imagining is never a bad as it seems at the time … in the heat of the moment.¬† I worry and waste time, always to be proven wrong.

Now I am in the middle of a quandary, will this be the first time I am proven right?  TMI alert but the need to get this out of my system far outweighs my need for privacy.

I am trying to find out why I have left side quadrant pain.¬† For YEARS!¬† I went through a series of tests,¬†all negative … though a little arthritis, scoliosis, stenosis, but still no cause for the radiating pain. ¬†I recently stopped some meds and pain came back with a vengeance so we are trying again, checking a new avenue with a new MRI.¬† But halt, in the midst of all this, I start bleeding – otherwise known as PMB. ¬†What, the what!! ¬†that should NOT be happening. ¬†Now the results of the MRI are the least of my worries.¬† I feel like I am dreaming. ¬†Calgon take me away.

I jump to WebMD, very straightforward, clinical, helpful but not enough. ¬†I review link after link … Multiple sites, tell me not to worry, just rule out the cause. ¬†More common than we think … A bright statistic¬† 90% of PMB¬†can be attributed to something besides cancer BUT that is 90% of women on Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). Scratch that, I am not on HRT.¬† Another bright statistic – Stage 1 endometrial cancer has 96% five-year survival rate.

The following was left out of my prior Ouch blog, focused instead on the MRI, lesser of two evils. That plus being in denial.  Plus I am always proven wrong, remember?!??!

Friday 9/9, I went to the Nurse practitioner (NP) at my OB/GYN.¬† Felt silly because the bleeding had stopped but went in any way in case the weekend brought forth more.¬† I was told, never ignore this particular symptom.¬† I had an¬†exam and “an oh, we may have found the cause”.¬† Still an appointment was made for further evaluation, sonogram and depending on outcome, another type of biopsy.¬† The ‘oh’¬†removed¬†and sent¬†to the labs.

I received good news this morning, biopsy of the ‘oh’ was negative.¬† Sonogram which may or may not result in a different biopsy¬†had been¬†scheduled for Monday 9/19 but was moved up to tomorrow Wednesday 9/14 because guess what? After 3 days clear, I started bleeding again. ¬†Which is why I have taken to the pen which is mightier than the sword! ¬†Thank goodness they can get me in tomorrow because the waiting is worse than anything.

So here is where my crazy mind takes me.¬† My life insurance is all paid up.¬† Split 3 ways – Lulu’s college costs over and above TX Tomorrow Fund¬†is paid in full with a little leftover.¬† Pony Boy and Wise Beyond Her Years can buy a house and Billy Bob can get a decent down-payment his ranch. Silver linings in a worse case scenario.¬† Of course, I don’t know anything yet; I am jumping the gun. ¬†Patience has not and never will be my strength. ¬†I am trying to relax and find my zen. ¬†Music helps immensely. ¬†And writing, getting my feelings¬†OUT! ¬†My mantra, I can do this, whatever THIS may be. ¬†Remember, nothing is ever as bad as it seems.

Boy, it’s going to be a long night!! ¬†I’ll post more as I know more because as always, more to come …